Okay, well this is this the first time I ever used this to vent, so..

My boyfriend & I have had problems & we've taken breaks. & evertime we do, one of us gets with another person for a few weeks & end up realising we wanna be with each other. I love him more than I love myself, but I don't know if I want that. I want him, all of him. I don't want him to have to be with someone else before he decides he wants me. It's been like this nearly 3 years, he should know by now right?
Well that's what I thought, til it was ME who got with someone else & I don't know if I can ever go back. This guy makes me happy & respects me for me. He doesn't make me do things I don't want too & always tells me I'm beautiful. It was my "boyfriend" that wanted a break & he said he's not ready yet to end the break, but I mean, what if he wants to & I don't?
Oh & the other guy has already asked for a break because he's camping & wants to be able to do whatever he wants...</3

Next problem:
My mom is a sweet person. So sweet, she's bringing her ex bf & his wife & child in to live with us til they can find a place. I mean, it's understandable but we already know we DONT get along with his wife. I mean she's 2 years older than me. 19! He's like 30 or 40 something. Thats not my problem..buut I don't get along with her as a person.

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now. And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I want you now

I probably should be going now, cause I'm not quite sure what to say I'm so afraid you might get scared, if I told you how much I wanna stay.

Eventually people like you become the whole world's whore.

At first I was angry you had fallen in love with someone else, but you seem so happy now.

There are moments when it's too quite. Particularly, late at night or early in the mornings. Thats when you know theres something lacking in your life; you just know.

The reason I am still so attached to you is because I never felt that way about anyone. Cliche, right? Well, I'm serious. To this day, I would take you back. I would take back all the lack of communication and all the bullshit you pull. I would deal with your stubborn mind and closed heart. Tell me why, out of all the prince charmings, why did I chose the most uncharming of them all? 

he knew that it would take more than an apology to get you back. he'd have to conquer the world first. he's been trying ever since. -- Sweet Home Alabama

i don't need your sympathy, and i don't need your tears. i haven't slept for days now, maybe more. just leave me here in selfishness, close the door. if you hold me, i might find it safe. if you hold me, i just might cling to you. if you hold me, i'll be no good on my own; my control will be gone. don't look, i don't need your support. you see i've built this wall around myself and it keeps me up. i won't be babied, so please don't baby me, kust leave me in my corner. i created all this misery.

i'm waiting up for you to rescue me, to come around and cover everything. relying on my best memories to breathe for me, breathe for me.

"I have a favor to ask, I'm hoping it's not too much. After all, you said you'd always be there for me, so, here it goes: Don't like her. Don't pick her. Don't be with her. Anyone but HER. It hurts me too much. And if I could possibly fit one more thing in there if it is okay with you, maybe, just maybe, do you think you could fall for me?" - My Best Friend's Wedding

"Sucide sometimes proceeds from cowardice. But not all the time; for cowardice sometimes prevents it; since as many people live because they are afriad to die as die because they were afraid to live."

It wasn't a suicide attempt - It was an escape from everything awful. When we cut we control our own pain and we can make it stop whenever we want. Physical pain relieves mental anguish. For that brief moment the pain of cutting is the only thing in the cutters' mind. And when the others come back; they're weaker. Drugs do that too, and sex. But not like cutting, nothing is like cutting."

.                                         

just because she comes off stong;
doesnt mean she didnt fall asleep crying
&& even though she says nothings wrong;
maybe shes just good at lying.

some day youll wake up, realize you want me, you need me;
but ill be waking up to a boy who realized that long
before you.

when you break up
your WHOLE idenity is shattered.
your no longer alive*

i just broke up with someone, and the last thing he said to me was
"youll never find anyone like me!" i thought to myself
"i should hope not, if i dont want you, why would i want someone like you?!"

moving on is simple - its what you leave behind that hurts.

the pain of having a broken heart is not
so great as to kill you.
but not so less as to let you live.

the world is definately haunted.
old lovers, ex boyfriends, anyone you have unresolved issues with
you are bound to run into again and again,
until you resolve them.

dont fall for the guy with the
gorgeous eyes;
until youve learned whats behind them*

ill see you at two am in my dreams baby,
we'll be holding hands and laughing like we used to.
we wont know the meaning of betrayal
and youll only look at me. ill be your everything
and youll be mine.
i cant wait to fall asleep.

i still remember our first kiss.
i remember that it was awkward and that it was soft.
i remember being scared, and a little insecure.
what i dont remember is ever be so certain
of something in my entire life.

i used to wish we could get back together.
and i used to think id feel that way forever.*

people dont change..
they gradually begin to show you who
they have been,
all along.

and when im crying over you to my best friend,
im hoping to god she'll say
"give him another chance"
so its justified when i do.

during a girls lifetime she'll find three boys.
one that she loves.
one that she hates.
one that she cant get enough of,
and itll turn out to be the same ol stupid boy.

my favorite quote:
Distance is not for the fearful, it's for the bold.
It's for those who are willing to spend alot of time alone in exchange
for a little time with the one they love.
It's for those seeing a good thing when they see it, even if they dont see it nearly enough.

1. they started out as [best friends] ;; but with the strong connection* they had
they feelings werent hid for long // they fell in -[love]-

2. your hold on me is permanent; never doubt that. -edward cullen.

3. i thought id explained it clearly before; i just cant live in a world where you dont exist. -edward cullen.

4. we had the first and last kind of love.
i was perfect for his soul,
he was perfect for my heart
and together we are perfect apart.

5.Overtime best friends become enemies and enemies become true best friends*

6. && yes; this pretty girl is still dedicated
to a fairytale that has already ended.

7. && the couple who fights the most; is the one most in love.
it shows they care enough to notice the other one screwed up
and care enough to mention it to the person so they can fix it
when you stop fighting; you stop caring. -s.r

8. And it's hard to think after all that we've been through
together you're still holding on to something that
should have been demolished a long time ago.
Taken away with all the lies and games, the apologies
that were never meant and the goodbyes that were
always said. And you're walking to my front doorstep
again, asking to come in and as I try to close  the
door, it's being slowly pushed open again.

9.if your just gonna be a jerk about it; then i wont talk to you anymore.
but dont be coming back to me when she wont talk to you either.*

10. I’m more attracted to a stronger man rather than a
feminine man. Someone who would just throw me
down and take control. I love feeling helpless. I
definitely like a man who is confident and aggressive. -carmenelectra.

11. ive kissed a guy, ive kissed many guys. i just havent felt that thing that moment
when you kiss someone & everything around you becomes hazy.
and the only thing you see is you and that person & you realize right then and there that,
that person is the only person your suppose to kiss for the rest of your life.
and for one moment  you get this amazing gift.
you wanna laugh and you wanna cry cause you feel so lucky that you found it.
& so scared that it will go away all the same.

12. He found me at my lowest point, put me back together,
only to break my heart all over again.

13. You always say you hate to see me hurt, and you hate to see me cry.
So all those times that you hurt me, did you close your eyes?  

14. I wish he meant it when he kissed me cause then
I could look back and see someone who loved me
but I can only go back and see someone who used me.

15. it makes me wonder how many times we forgive just
because we don't want to lose someone, even if they don't deserve our forgiveness

16. I like a different guy;
Just to forget about you.
Then I give up on that guy
when he gets a girlfriend.
Then I just turn straight back to you

17. but you love me todɑy, dont wɑnt me 'round tomoro,
everytime you chɑnge your mind i follow; cɑught up,
fɑll up in your mɑze & im so dizzy bɑbe,
cɑnt keep goin' bɑck & forth on these wɑves, im gettin' seɑ sick.

18. I'm not saying this to shake you up, I'm just saying this to wake you up.
It's all good when we making love. All I ask is don't take our love for granted.
it's granted my love for you is real.

19. want her phone number; look under whore.
no wait look under the h, cause shes just not that smart. -maci(:

20. southern girls are gods gift to entire male population.
there is no woman finer than one raised below the mason dixon line
&& once you go southern may the good lord help you to never go back. -kennychesney

21. i'm a daughter hiding my depression.
I'm a sister making a good impression.
I'm your friend acting like I'm fine.
I'm a teenager pushing her tears aside.
I'm the girl sitting next to you.
I'm the one asking you to care.
I'm your best friend hoping you'll be there -accidentlyinlove_quote

22. Most of the time, I was a shy kid and I was afraid what I said sounded stupid,
so I hardly ever said anything. I was the third wheel; fifth wheel?
I was the wheel you really didn't need, but still hung around.
I thought maybe my silence would one day impress somebody.
As of yet, it hasn't done much for me

23. be lucky to have him as a friend because if
you & him date & then break up, that
friendship will never be the same. & in those
months that you don't have him as a friend..
those will be the months you need him the
most, & you won't have him. he's a great friend,
so don't wish for more than you have because
you have it better than anyone to have him be
your best friend

24. like you've been drinking jack and coke all morning.
He can make you feel high, full of the single greatest commodity known to man:
promise; promise of a better day, promise of a greater hope,
promise of a new tomorrow.
This particular aura can be found in the gaze of a beautiful boy:
in his smile, and in his soul, and the way he makes every rotten little thing about life seem like it's gonna be okay.

25. Sometimes, I hope we're still friends when I'm married.
I hope that I'll invite you to the wedding and you'll come.
You'll see me as the happiest girl in the world.
You'll see me with a guy that treats me right and loves me more than himself.
You'll see all that you could have had and you'll regret letting me go.
But the thing I want you to see most is that I survived without you.

26. he broke her without even trying.
he invaded her heart without a care.
he wedged himself in her hidden thoughts,
and cares with a flippant smile and cocky attitude.
he never knew, he couldn't have cared less,
and as the perfect person to make her come alive,
he was the perfect person to break her down.

27. I dont need the drama or the heart break
Of loving you anymore
I'm finally fed up with all the lies you told
Im tired of having all the other girls in your life
Try to compete for you when you are my boyfriend
& Im jealous of all of them to begin with

28. I tried to move on. I really did. I tried to tell myself
that you don`t want me & I can`t have you anymore.
I tried so hard. But how can you let go of the only
person who makes you happy? The only person
who makes you feel alive? The only reason you`re
still here? You just can't let go of someone like that

29. she was a girl that spoke her mind , never played games,
&& acted confident when she could barely stand looking in the mirror .
she didn't gloat of her achievements or tell of them even though she had many.
she lived in mistakes, in past regrets, && she's just beginning to realize
that sometimes you can`t change things. that you can't go back in the past.
&& sometimes, you just have to move on. because
life's too short to dwell on the unchangeable.

30. Why cant you see how much you hurt me this time?
You use to say you were sorry..now you dont.
You dont even care anymore.
And i think thats what hurts the most.
The fact that I know you dont and you wont
But I'm starting to realize no matter what I do
I remember all the fun times; all the times we spent just me and you
And then I remember how cold you are now
the fact that you have new friends and have moved on.
The fact that i dont even spend time with you anymore
It hurts thinking about it; Knowing that things will never be the same
or that things wont get any better; I hate this..
And I hate you for doing it to me

31. Well, I've been spending all my time composing letters;
to a boy. a boy who lives a thousand miles away.
writing NEVER takes the place of living*
&& i need his arms, i need his smile again.
he called me up to let me go today.
for a moment i thought it was easier than being away.
but through the tangeled thread the needle finds a way.
&& im asking him to stay.

32. I'm not gonna be sixteen forever.
so i'm singing this song as loud as i can,
as i drive too fast with my best friends.
i don't wonder if you're wondering where i am,
because the truth is,
i don't care if i ever see you again.

33. im walkin out the door not even bothered to pack;
im leavin you sugar and never comin back. -drake bell.

34. death; leaves a heartache no-one can heal.
love; leaves a memory that no-one will steal.
-to all the ones that i lost, rip. ily<3.

35. she's the one that helped you through
and stuck by you, but yet, she's the one you dropped in an instant.

36. She'll say she hates you. She'll say she never loved you. She'll say she doesn't ever want you back.
But deep down inside, the only possible way that she could ever mean this is if her fingers were crossed.

37. And I know that I should probably just let go,
because I know that it won’t work out and everyone tells me that.
So I try to convince myself that its better off that way without him...
But then I'll think of him
and remember his smile that makes me melt
and I cant imagine myself with anyone else
and no matter how hard it will be…
I want to be with him

38. sweetheart, you can't bullshit me.
see, i've lied to myself enough to know
when someone else is doing it.
so, let's try this again.
and how about the truth this time.
I’m missing your bed, I never sleep
avoiding the spots that we'd have to speak
and this bottle of beast is taking me home

39. And in the end, it's not about who was
skinnier or who's prettier.
It's about who can survive through all the
name calling and dirty looks.
It's about who has the strength
to not care.

40. Every once in a while I think back to the moment we first met,
I’m more and more grateful for that moment.
Its so good to have someone listen to my dreams,
to make me laugh, to make me cry and just to make me feel things in my heart like you do.
But the best part of all is knowing you are a part of me.
While your sleeping I stop and watch you and wonder if you know how special you are to me.
I know my dreams will come true all because I believe in you.
You are my friend, my hero you are also the love of my life.
When your not around I hug my pillow wishing it was you,
I dream about you, I believe in you, I treasure you. I love you.

41. Staring you down, I see the fear in your eyes. I ain't scared of your fists or your lies.

42. hes always been the boy that id turn to to vent out on.
i would always tell him my deepest darkest secrets
but now that we dont even speak im lost with out him
and i dont know where to go and what my next step is

43. i read quotes and i find myself relating to most of them.
my life isnt the greatest. i either love someone or i dont.
i read about having the best friends for life and living in the past.
we read about living life to the fullest and having either tons
or no regrets at all. we look back on friends that are now lost
and that have seemed to lost touch with. nothing in life is perfect
and we deal with it all. yet we know we always have that one
certain person we cant keep out minds off of and love to death

44. i dont wanna say its over. i never want to let you go.
i cry every night wanting you back and hoping you would tell me you need me.
but that only happens in cliche movies or princesses in fairy tales.
well this is reality and nothing is like those movies.
yet i watch them all the time hoping that maybe, just maybe i can live
somewhat of a cliche movie or fairy tale.

45.  her phone rung, she figured it was just her best friend.
She looked and saw it was the boy who let her go.
The boys whose heart she still wanted, the boy who hadn't talked to her in weeks.
She asked why he was calling, and he admitted, "I want to see you again."

46. you hug him goodbye like it's nothing.
while all you want to do is hold on forever,
but you let go, smile & walk away. then cry
all the way home because you know it will never
be the same because try as you might; you can't

47. one summer day, i fell in love with you.
gave you everything, heart and innocence.
you sadly had to go a thousand miles away for college.
i got call after call from you; you convinced me you were in love.
you sure had me fooled. six months later, you were home but only for a week.
spent everyday with me, reassuring my heart i was the only one for you.
four months went by, you were still at it. feeding me lie after lie,
excuse after excuse. ten months after our first day, you stopped the calls,
stopped the lies, and broke my heart. i got used to your lying and your deceitfulness.
it sure would have been easier on my heart if you kept at it.
the summer's here again, what a change from that one i spent with you.
you gave a whole new meaning to, "i'll give you a summer you'll never forget."

48. she's so sick of never being beautiful enough, never being stronger, or better.
she's sick of going home everyday, & wishing she was someone else.
for once she wants to look in the mirror & be happy for what she sees back. she's so
sick of everyone telling her " you can do so much better than that. well, maybe she cant.
& people talking about her behind her back. yea well, she found out.
she`s sick of people bringing her down & telling her that she isn`t good enough.
but i guess all she really wants is somebody to look
her in her eyes & tell her, "i love you."

49. I will not be weak anymore. You can’t run.
You have to stay here and hear it this time. I love you.
I love you so much it consumes me. I love you.
I know you love me too. Tell me you love me and everything we've done,
all the gossip and the lies and the hurt would have been for something.- Gossip Girl

50. I remember when I was love sick. You block out everyone.
You feel so tired, because you haven't slept in forever.
You know he'll be in your dreams but you don't want to stay awake laying in your bed crying either.
You're starving, but you can't eat because you're starving for him
and every memory just leaves you with a bigger hole in your heart.
Even your clothes reminds you of him, what you wore when you hung out.
You can still smell them all over him, even though his scent hasn't been there for long.
You wish his scent would be stuck on you, but you know you'd be pulling at your skin trying to get him off you.
You're online, he signs on, and you want to scream at him to go away,
but you just watch the screen waiting for him to say anything, but then he signs off,
and you tear yourself apart for not saying anything to him.
You stop talking to your friends, and they get worried and try comforting you,
but they just make you feel worse because they think they know, but they don't have a damn clue.

51. Her eyes beginning to water, she went on, "So I would like you all to make me a promise.
From now on, on your way to school, or on your way home, find something beautiful to notice.
It doesn't have to be something you see, it could be a scent -
perhaps of freshly baked bread wafting out of someone's house,
or it could be the sound of the breeze slightly rustling the leaves in the trees,
or the way the morning light catches the autumn leaf as it falls gently to the ground. Please look for these things, and cherish them.
For, although it may sound trite to some, these things are the "stuff" of life.
The little things we are put here on earth to enjoy. The things we often take for granted.
We must make it important to notice them, for at any time...it can all be taken away."
The class was completely quiet. We all picked up our books and filed out of the room silently.
That afternoon, I noticed more things on my way home from school than I had that whole semester.
Every once in a while, I think of that teacher and remember what an impression she made on all of us,
and I try to appreciate all of those things that sometimes we all overlook.
Take notice of something special you see on your lunch hour today.
Go barefoot. Or walk on the beach at sunset.
Stop off on the way home tonight to get a double-dip ice cream cone.
For as we get older, it is not the things we did that we often regret, but the things we didn't do.

51.